Tag Archives: church

Field Guide to Church Fauna: The Uplifting Builder

Posted on July 6, 2010 by Tim Archer

The Uplifting Builder (edificat totali) is unfortunately an all too rare species in the ecclesiastical phylum. The Builder has amazing eyesight, able to find the good in almost any situation. In addition, their talent for communication is outstanding, finding edifying … Continue reading →

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Field Guide to Church Fauna: Kneeling Backgrounder

Posted on July 5, 2010 by Tim Archer

The Kneeling Backgrounder (prayingus warriae) is, at first glance, an unimpressive species. A master of camouflage, it blends into the background in almost any situation. Yet it possesses a powerful attack, the power of prayer. When in a kneeling position, … Continue reading →

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Field Guide to Church Fauna: Flits

Posted on July 1, 2010 by Tim Archer

The Flit (bounceinicus bounceouticus) is a reclusive creature, so hard to spot that some even doubt their existence. Possessing impeccable timing, these shy animals are able to arrive at the precise moment a worship service is beginning and disappear as … Continue reading →

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Field Guide to Church Fauna: The Blustery Sloth

Posted on June 30, 2010 by Tim Archer

The Blustery Sloth (blabbingus et boringus) is truly a wondrous creature. Blessed with amazing lung capacity, the sloth can literally talk for hours, nonstop. Virtually incapable of other physical activity, the sloth has a great capacity for oratory, mimicking intelligent … Continue reading →

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Field Guide to Church Fauna: Frenzied Trendsuckers

Posted on June 29, 2010 by Tim Archer

The Frenzied Trendsuckers (bandwagonae jumponicus) are a fast-moving member of the bird family. They are continually chasing after shiny objects, principally the newest trends and latest fads. They live in search of a new and better flock of which to be … Continue reading →

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