A Yoke Around My Neck

tiesThey say that neckties are making a comeback. Too bad, I say. I’m not a fan.

I especially don’t like the way ties have been used in churches in developing nations. In many countries, the tie is seen as a symbol of Christianity. Schools of preaching require their students to wear ties, some of whom return to their home congregation, trying to impose the fashion there. In countries where neckties are virtually unknown, you see preachers wearing ties (often in garish colors that in no way match the clothes they wear). In Argentina, if you saw someone wearing a tie walking down the street on Sunday, you had almost certainly found an evangelical.

On Islamic websites, posters ask if the tie is meant to be a symbol of the cross, or if the imposition of ties in business settings isn’t an attempt to proselytize. One reporter who was held captive by the Taliban told of being questioned on several occasions as to what magic Christians saw in neckties.

Wear your ties, if you like. Just don’t mix fashions and faith… neither here nor overseas.

Finally, during some Bible study yesterday, I discovered that neckties are criticized in the New Testament! Note this from the book of Acts:

“Now then, why do you try to test God by putting on the necks of the disciples a yoke that neither we nor our fathers have been able to bear?” (Acts 15:10)

There you have it. Why put on the necks of the disciples a yoke that others have not been able to bear? That settles it. No neckties.

(OK, maybe I’m not totally serious on that one…)

Photo by Jane M. Sawyer via MorgueFile.com

Friday Funny: And the policeman said…

laughHere’s a list I’ve read in several different places. No idea as to the original source, nor the veracity of the contents. But they are funny!

Southern Cops Have A Way With Words

Comments made by South Carolina Troopers that were taken off their car videos:

1. “You know, stop lights don’t come any redder than the one you just went through.”
2. “Relax, the handcuffs are tight because they’re new. They’ll stretch after you wear them a while.”
3. “If you take your hands off the car, I’ll make your birth certificate a worthless document.”
4. “If you run, you’ll only go to jail tired.”
5. “Can you run faster than 1200 feet per second? Because that’s the speed of the bullet that’ll be chasing you.”
6. “You don’t know how fast you were going? I guess that means I can write anything I want to on the ticket, huh?”
7. “Yes, sir, you can talk to the shift supervisor, but I don’t think it will help. Oh, did I mention that I’m the shift supervisor?”
8. “Warning! You want a warning? O.K., I’m warning you not to do that again or I’ll give you another ticket.”
9. “The answer to this last question will determine whether you are drunk or not. Was Mickey Mouse a cat or a dog?”
10. “Fair? You want me to be fair? Listen, fair is a place where you go to ride on rides, eat cotton candy and corn dogs and step in monkey poop.”
11. “Yeah, we have a quota. Two more tickets and my wife gets a toaster oven.”
12. “In God we trust; all others we run through NCIC.” (National Crime Information Center)
13. “Just how big were those ‘two beers’ you say you had?”
14. “No sir, we don’t have quotas anymore. We used to, but now we’re allowed to write as many tickets as we can.”
15. “I’m glad to hear that the Chief (of Police) is a personal friend of yours. So you know someone who can post your bail.”
16. “You didn’t think we give pretty women tickets? You’re right, we don’t. Sign here.”

God’s language (a bit of humor)

The other day, in the comments section, I shared a story I once heard. I thought it was about my friend Juan Monroy, but he denies having said it.

The person in the story said:

I speak three languages: Spanish, French, and English.
When I want to talk to my machines, I speak English, the language of technology.
When I am being romantic with my wife, I speak French, the language of love.
But when I speak to God… I speak Spanish.

Maybe Spanish speakers find that funnier than English speakers do. Either way, I think it’s cute.

Would you like to be in Star Wars?

So how would you like to help make a Star Wars movie? OK, not one of the ones that will be shown in theaters. You can help remake The Empire Strikes Back as a fan tribute film by visiting www.starwarsuncut.com. You claim 15 seconds of the film, then recreate it in the manner you want: live action, claymation, puppets, dogs in costumes… whatever your imagination calls for.

They’ve already done the first movie, A New Hope. If you’ve got a couple of hours to watch it, it looks hilarious. I’ve only seen a few minutes, but it’s really quite a hoot.

Here it is: